His calls...

I am a Blessed woman. I got the opportunity to talk with Adrian again yesterday after work. I’m sure to most; you think that this is what is supposed to happen. However, daily I read about another woman who is hurting because she hasn’t gotten to speak with her loved one in more than a week or two. Yet, I have spoken every day with my Guy... He is so caring, and daily wants to know how my day to day activities are going. He doesn’t let a day go by without expressing his care and concern for me. He remembers to ask about the gym, my "friends", family, and work. Rarely does he tell me how bad the situations are there. (Even though that's what I want to hear) He is such a selfless person. I am definitely a blessed woman.

I've learned to truly appreciate him, admire him and accept him. Appreciation and admiration sound the same at first thought, but they are very different. I appreciate Adrian for what he does for me, but I admire him for what he is. He has proved to be a man of his word. And thus far showing me in so many ways that he is a true provider.'

For so long, I've taken advantage of the simple things. These next 8 months should prove to show me so many things... about me, my family, Adrian, and life in general.

Do teens come with a "return to sender" label...

Did you ever notice the only difference between work and play is the amount of enjoyment you get from each of them? What makes us enjoy one task and moan regretfully at another one which is similar?


If I asked Jalen to take the trash out he would probably consider that undesirable work, but if he were at a friends house and noticed the trash needed emptying, he would jump at the mere mention of it. When Cheyanne was first able to babysit on here own she volunteered for each and every person. After the "new" had worn off that was no longer the case.

After giving this some thought, I've come up with the following conclusion: there's not much difference between work and play, it's all in the attitude. What else would make a person in today's world look down on talking calmly with teens? Let the same woman speak the same conversation with a student and it's nothing. I just don't get it. One of the students could come along and anger me to my wits end... in an hour or so, I've gotten over it and onto another situation. However, my own children...hmmm... There are things that take me ages to get over. Literally ages. (As in Chey was grounded for a year, and I don't remember why). Sad, I know. I need to learn to talk with them as calm as I do my students. Hmmm...

To go to work with my children is really a blessing and a privilege I shouldn't take lightly. It is an honor that oftentimes I take for granted. I shouldn't forget that there are mother's that are also single and would give anything to spend the amount of time that I get with my children..

My attitude needs to be checked occasionally. Do I grumble because I have more than my fair share to do? Do I complain when ends don't meet and I have to figure out ways to be even more thrifty than I already am? I need to make my home as relaxed as I do at school.. my work and play. What I'll do is make it a game that I'll set out to enjoy and win. uH... I THINK THAT I'LL TRY ANYWAY...lol

An insane moment...

Good morning,


I just wanted to take the time to babble. I got to speak to Adrian again last night.. (That is an awesome feeling, knowing that he only seems to be a phone call away...) I was so excited to get to talk to him. Nothing really to talk about other than to hear his voice, and tell him about my day. But something was different... I didn’t get the same amount of energy from him as I usually do. I almost felt like I was bothering him, or as if he other things on his mind. Hopefully this was all part of my imagination. I teared up as we were getting off the phone, I don’t know why.. Someone just pray that God gives me the strength that I need to be there for Adrian. I know that he has so much going on right now and my insecurities are not helping him. So, this is my proposal... that no matter what goes on, if it's not emergent, I will not vent to him. I have others that I can talk to about my day to day activities, and frustrations. (Right?)

Well, that leads me to another topic... friends. Hmmm, who will I call? My new-found friendship is going to be cut short in a month because she is leaving Indiana. So it's like she gets me all excited about going to the gym and how I can look and feel better about myself.. and then no sooner that I join, buy cute little outfits, and brag about going... this silly girl reminds me that she's leaving in a month.. UGH.. (Inside scoop, I should have known... all people leave at some point or another...) Who will I talk to... who will continue to push me into going to the gym? (Even when I’m whining about it) Who will be excited for me when I hear from Adrian? Who can I make fat jokes to when I’m really depressed about everything? I have only one person, and she is leaving me for selfish reasons… LOL... Okay, I’m being a bit selfish to ask her to stay, but without even realizing it she has become a Pearl in my life. Okay enough with all the drama, she is definitely appreciated and will be missed. (As if I wont email her on a regular, or blow countless cell phone minutes keeping in touch...LOL)
So, where do people my age "find" friends? LOL. Maybe I should go to the grocery store and look on the bulletin boards, or get online and post a "wanted" add. maybe Ill start slking friendly looking people until they ask me "Can I help you with something".. LOL.. I mean really, how do adults make friends when they have been in the same city your whole life? Is that something that just comes naturally, or do we search for it. Maybe I’ll just take the next nine months and concentrate solely on my children, my guy and my weight….
Uhm, maybe not... LOL... We will see what happens…

Stay Blessed…

Thank You Adrian...

I don’t know where to start this post. So I guess I’ll start with thank you. Thank you for being the man that you are. Thank you for being man and father beyond compare. Thank you for filling my heart with a love of such fierceness I can barely contain it. Thank you for taking such pure and unalloyed joy in our lives together. Thank you for extending the same respect you command from others. Thank you for having the integrity and strength to do the job that you do. Thank you for your unshakable work ethic. Thank you for providing the comfort, stability, and security we’re so fortunate to enjoy. Thank you for your unwavering dedication to doing what’s right no matter the consequence. Thank you for not complaining each time the military plucks you up and sends you away at a moment’s notice. Thank you for being strong enough to leave your family and I behind while you fight a thankless war in a country that doesn’t want you. Thank you for reminding me every day that freedom isn’t free. Thank you for paying the price of that freedom in hard work, sweat, and tears. Thank you for enduring each missed holiday, birthday, and anniversary without a trace of bitterness. Thank you for witnessing my tears and calmly hearing out my frustrations when it all seems like too much. Thank you for each call home despite overwhelming tiredness of body and weariness of soul. Thank you for all of this and so much more that I don’t have the words to express. I may not be able to tender the thanks of a grateful nation, but I can and do offer the thanks of a grateful girlfriend. Thank you for being my soul mate, best friend, and other half. I love you and miss you with every breath I take. I’m proud of you. Come home to me safely, my love.

Dealing with the days...

16 days? Why does it seem like it has been so much longer than that? It’s hard to believe that only 16 days have passed since I’ve seen Adrian…He left Indianapolis on April 12th, but actually left the U.S. on April 18th. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t wished that we could go back to the 9th. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. You don’t really know what you have until it’s gone.

There is so much going through my head… He truly spoils me. I worry about so much, and before I can really talk to him about it, he calms my fears in a way that only he can.
But I won’t go into that right now… mainly because I could speak on that for hours…

So far Adrian and I have gotten to speak daily, and sometimes twice a day. I worry about the cost, and he tells me not to. … (I hope that we don’t regret it later) But for now, I’m floating on Cloud 9. I sent him a few cards and a book last Thursday (4/23) and he hasn’t received it to date, but Ill be patient. I’m sending another package off today, mainly just some goodies and a few things that I thought he might enjoy.. We will see. It just makes me feel like I can actually do something for him, maybe it’s just my way of taking care of him.

I wrote earlier about how he and I were going to attempt to work on “the Love Dare” together, well as I started the book, it almost seems silly for both of us to work on it at the same time. Almost as if we would be expecting and/or assuming one another’s moves. Maybe we will try something else. I've looked at many sites online hoping to find something interesting... Nothing has jumped out as of yet... I have another blog that I've been working on, but its a bit personal so I’m not sure when Ill actually post it. Just pray that I find the courage to follow all that I proposed…

Missing Adrian

I'm missing Adrian more today than I could have ever imagined. When I think about his smile and the way his hand feels in mine, I tear up, even after this time. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like him. Since the moment we first saw each other, he has put me on a pedestal. And for a long time now, I fought being up there because I thought, surely, things would change. Well, so far they haven't. I am still his number one everything and he makes me feel how I imagine a newborn baby feels wrapped up in a blanket: secure, warm, loved, protected, adored, in the hands of God, at complete peace with the world. And there is no better feeling.So today I just want to thank him for the best months of my life. I can't wait for 100 more years.