LOL... An Military Girlfriend

Seriously…Military and Girlfriend are two of the oddest, scariest, words ever put together to describe me. Not really who I am or ever intended to be. It is hard on me… as everyone knows I am a very needy friend for things like self reassurance. (Always have been). While all I want to do is break down and cry, I feel like I have to be strong and send him positive messages. It’s a little draining. Just knowing that he is my partner, yet I never want to put too much on him. This is just not a great time… we have the rest of our lives to get to all of that. These next few months are his.
I know everyone thinks this will fail (and I hate all of you). A few of you are super supportive and in the mindset of “love will conquer all.” As corny as it is, it helps. I adore him and everyone asks me if I want it “to be forever.” I have no answer for that…all I know is I love him and I want to be with him. It’s enough for me. And it should be enough for the rest of you. So I’m not your standard ditzy fussy hen who is your norm for military SO (although I am pretty ditzy…lovely new bruise on my shin today from walking into…err never mind…).
So since a lot of you suck, I have decided to do some research (it’s what I do in my free-time, what did you expect?) into what to expect now that things are different between the two of us. I found a forum for military girlfriends and decided to join it to just see what they suggested and to get support that I wasn’t getting from a lot of friends. So far it’s interesting and they haven’t given any advice I want. I don’t want to jump the ship because I do have such strong feelings for him even though sometimes I doubt he feels the same way about me. Its silly…I know. (Mainly because I don’t exactly hide the fact that I write here…so I’m sure he’ll question me about that).
So to end this-as usual I am confused. This is the guy I pretty much prayed about. So I am stupidly in love, happy about it and miserable at the same time (only cause he is not here to cuddle and kiss to death). I am probably going to drive him crazy with my little random e-mail messages and all my friends crazy with my whining.