Not a matter of if a man will leave, it's a matter of when...

Well, nothing to say... Uhm... For reasons that I don't understand, I guess things are over between he and I.... Ill blog more at a later time...

Keep him in Prayer...

Stay Blessed

My Hiatus

I've been really bad about blogging this month and I haven't been reading or commenting blogs as much as I normally do. I honestly haven't been keeping up with anything this past month. There's some things going on with Adrian, the family and just life in general and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I'd blog about it, but I don't think it's the right time and things always change, so I'd hate to blog about something and then turn around and correct myself.

So please just bear with me.

I wanted also to say hello to my few followers. Also...if you follow me or regularly read me and I don't have you listed on my link list to the side, then PLEASE tell me so I can read you too. That is, if you want me to.

But with everything that is going on in my life, I wanted to tell everyone Happy 4th of July... Enjoy, because there are many that can't.. they are defending our Freedom. Never take it for granted, because it doesn't come free.

Stay Blessed,

I’ve been past the stage of burn-out for over a month now and I need to shape up. First, I want to purge the stuff holed up in my pit. Just a little. Just to get it out of my system. –I started to write something about how others may handle my situation, but I’m not others. I’m working on not comparing myself to others. Here I purge.

The past few months have been the hardest it has ever been in my near 16 years of parenting. I realized recently that it’s generally negative. It’s not all about fixing people’s mistakes but also looking at my own. I work really hard to keep up my helpful, positive attitude with students’ and the others that I work with or socialize with, but looking at something closer then that…hard work it is.

My friends tell me that I’m drawn to these “needy” types of situations. It’s true. As I look at my past two jobs, I’ve had to clean up the mess that my predecessors left the company in. But besides that, they’ve been jobs where I have to “save the day” a lot, whether it’s my mistake or others’. Do I have this superhero complex? Maybe. The task of a hero really starts to wear a person down. I guess you could sort of say I know how Superman must feel. Ok, perhaps I’m stretching it a little, but on my own scale of life, it makes perfect sense... Um…to be yet another type of hero. Hmmm. I’m not going to even go there right now.

Back on track here. With my long days of parenting + school + taking in a new person as part of our family + still being single but developing that relationship + my guilt of all the things I don’t have time for… It’s all hit a peak and I don’t like where I’ve been these past few weeks. Truly, deeply, I’m a happy person, but I’ve buried it with stresses. Here’s my effort at working on an attitude adjustment. Finding joy in the journey. I’m pulling the goodies out from the bag of life to say hello again. Ten little things that make me happy on a day to day basis.

1. Music. Nothing else does what music does to my spirit. I take it with me everywhere, but I don’t listen when I need it most which is first thing in the morning. I’m going to listen to music to begin my days.
2. Writing. It’s part of me. Has been as far back as I can remember. Sometimes it takes me a long time to finish a project so I put it off until I have time to give it my all. But when I don’t finish (and I often don’t) this only stretches out my anxiety of wanting to finish it. I will write something every day, even if it’s just a sentence, just to get in the habit of letting go of the anxiety.
3. Sense of Humor. I have a good one. Somewhere I learned to fear people. I’ve got to stop. That’s all there is to it.
4. Getting my hair done. As soon as things settle down, I’m heading to Ebony for a new Do.
5. Sleep. A good amount. Until school starts again, I’m sleeping in longer. Who cares what my hair looks like or if I have makeup on?! Well, I do, but I don’t want to for the next 8 weeks.
6. Friends. Call at least one a week. Sorry friends. I’ve sorely neglected you and I think it’s my biggest shame of all since starting summer break.
7. Giving gifts to my Adrian. It’s one of his 5 love languages and I seem to have forgotten that. I had gotten frustrated with the postal service so I just refused to send them again... Not fair to him… He is the innocent by-stander in al of this. Sorry Adrian.
8. Girls Time with my “not so” little girls. I’ve noticed lately the thrill that I get when Cheyanne, Ashlee and I spend time together outside of the house, just the 3 of us. I can see it in their face and sense it in their beings. That’s it. It’s a weekly date!
9. Going to the Gym. I actually enjoy going to the gym. But after losing my Gym partner, I lost the thrill. I will make it a point to find the thrill on my own …. (Inside joke)
10. Movies. I can’t think of a better way to fall asleep. It only takes me a few minutes, sometimes seconds, to fall asleep so it won’t be much of an inconvenience.

A better, happier me, here I come! Please keep me in Prayer..

Stay Blessed,

Reflections...

I am in a reflective mood today. My oldest daughter turns 16 soon. I cannot believe how fast this time has flown by. I remember going into the hospital to have her. I was so scared and excited at the same time. After all, I didn't know anything about birthin' no babies! And I sure didn't know anything about raising them! I was only 20 when she was born. That was just a few short years since I said I would never even have children. I didn't know what to do when she cried. I was scared to bathe her or cut her nails! But I was filled with SO much love for her the very moment I laid eyes on her. I knew at that moment that God had given me a precious gift and I was supposed to protect and love her no matter what! I was so worried that I was going to mess up. I wanted to be the perfect parent to her! Well, after ten years of being a parent, I can say I have messed up! Lots of times! I will never be a perfect parent, but I strive everyday to be the best one I can be.

It's not always easy. My kids sometimes make it very hard for me to be patient and gentle and loving. But whoever said that parenting was easy never had children of their own. My kids are little people, little individuals with big ideas and feelings and attitudes all their own. I need to encourage their creativity and be their cheerleader in life. I need to brag on them ALL the time. I don't want to put more on them than they can handle, but I want to push them to be all they can be. I dont need to be there to hold their hand when they cross the street and but i will be there to pick up the pieces of a newly broken heart. I know that they won't always come to me, but I will ALWAYS be here if they need me. I will show my children how to love by loving them with all my heart. They will know that family is perfect, but it can be the most amazing thing they will ever know.

I am so blessed that God has entrusted me with three amazing children to look after. I will do my best to raise them to show kindness, consideration, tolerance, and most of all, to have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Stay Blessed,

Taking it all for granted...

As I was nosing around the internet at work this morning I noticed a picture of a group of Soldiers who had obviously been at the nearby Shoppette (civilian version of gas station) from the bags of treat they carried and were walking back to the railhead about three-quarters of a mile away. Seeing this picture caused me to think about some things. Some personal convictions that I’ve taken for granted.We (Americans) live in a world of luxury and ease. We read the news, watch on TV or hear stories of poverty, despair and destruction, but these Soldiers have seen it with their own eyes. When I compare our trivial issues to what they endure I am ashamed. We complain when we wait 45 minutes for our food to be brought to the table when we eat at restaurants, but when is the last time we had to walk a mile to a dining facility just to get a hot meal. We are irritated and put out when the TV in the next room or neighbor’s apartment is too loud and keeps us from sleeping, but when is the last time we had mortars and bombs interrupt our sleep? We complain when we have to haul bags of groceries up flights of stairs because the elevator is broken, but when is the last time we had to walk from our room to the bathroom with a rifle and 70 pounds of protective gear? We scream, curse and rant at driving in rush hour traffic, but when is the last time we had to travel in a single file convoy at 35 MPH, guns ready, eyes scanning the horizon praying feverishly that the vehicles in the front and back of us carrying our friends doesn’t suddenly explode from an unseen bomb? We complain when our children drag mud and dirt onto our clean floor, but when is the last time we had to wait out a dust storm, sand swirling around us, darkness overshadowing us thankful that at least we’ve got shelter to keep out of the wind. We complain that our children have once again spread all of their clothes and junk around their room, but when is the last time we lived out of a green duffle bag, clothes spread out to “air out” so we can wear them “one more” day before going to the laundry. We get frustrated at the clutter on the fridge door as collections of artwork and grades fall to the ground when the door is opened, but when is the last time we taped up those same pictures and schoolwork because it was the only link we had to our loved ones. When you think about all that we have, yet still manage to find reasons to complain, it sounds so simple and childish … nay, it sounds selfish and greedy. How does a country that has come so far in freedoms of its people, manage to be burdened by the very things that we take for granted. Tonight, when my children leave their wet towels on the floor after their showers, or I have to pick up dirty dishes from the table long after they’ve gone off to their separate activities, I won’t complain or grumble that once again I’ve had to do everything. I’ll be happy that I have people in my life who are my EVERRYTHING and that caring for them is a great gift from God.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and I’m learning that lesson with this separation and deployment.

Pictures ....

Okay, so I'm finally posting the pictures that I recieved from Adrian last week. I've been nagging him about pictures since he first left, and here I am holding on to them... So here they are...

This first one is of Adrian's first "room". Isnt it awful.. LOL. I'm only teasing, Adrian.

This is his newest room... They moved this week from one tent to another...

This is Adrian and some of the guys he works with daily. From top to bottom and then on the right.... on top is Gonzo, on the hood is Woods, right side Monroe, Adrian, and Foster on the left..

This is Sgt. Foster... who has become a part of Adrian and myselfs secret joke.. LOL.. Thanks Foster... each time I walk throught the Fruit Dept at Kroger's, I can't help but laugh at his comments.. LOL

My Heart is hurting...

My heart is so heavy today.



Being a mommy to depressed teens is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Because my daughters' stories are not mine to tell, all I can say is that I pray for them all the time. I worry about Cheyanne's inability to find a place where she fits in this world. I am frightened she will just give up trying.
I am frightened for my younger daughter, too. A difficult few months and dysfunctional friendships have hardened her. She has a protective shell of anger around her, and relationships and even close friendships are so hard for her. I’m afraid that she will never let anyone including me ever love her. She already keeps her distance from me.
There have been many times when I’ve looked for God’s hand in my life, and many more times I’ve seen it. When I’m in the middle of trouble, and there’s no way to know what will happen next, it is so hard to believe that even now, in hard times, He can make something beautiful from these ashes. And yet, up till now, the ashes have never been the scars of my daughters. That hurts the most. These are my babies who are hurting.
When they were younger, someone was always reminding me that as a single mom, God never gives me more than I can handle. So I would talk it over with God and reiterate that, in case he somehow had misjudged my strength, I just wanted to remind him that I could not survive losing one of my children. I still don’t have that strength. I don’t know how to do more than I’m doing now. I don’t know how to make things better, and though I know that’s not really my job, I still can’t help the overwhelming desire to heal them, help, or fix them.
My friends give me encouraging verses, and remind me that I’ve trained up my girls in the way they should go, and when they get older they will return to it. But I know of people who have slipped away and fell further and further into depression, pain, bad choices, and death. No matter what I do, and how glorious is God’s plan, much depends on the free will of my children. I don’t know how to be OK with that.
My friend *Michelle has been one of the greatest spiritual influences of my life. After she had gone through an enormously difficult time, I asked her how she coped. Her reply was amazing. She told me what she wished she would have done to cope. “I wished I would have praised God more. I wished I would have listened to more Christian music and spent more time in prayer. I needed those things in my life.”
There has to be something to praise God about today.
I’ll praise him for the plan is putting into place, the plan that someday I’ll be able to see and rejoice. I’ll be thankful for the ways that he is going to rescue my family, when I’ve gone way beyond the abilities of my own strength.

If Jesus was a Dad...

I have come to the conclusion that the bible doesn’t give me enough examples of parenting a teen. Proverbs offers excellent advice from a parent to a child, but I don’t imagine any child sitting around long enough listening. Say, for instance, Jesus had been a dad of a teen. I think I would be helped greatly in my Christian parenting by reading about his examples:

And on the seventh day Jesus calleth his daughter back on her cellphone, and saith, “Verily I say to thee, if you sayest “Whatever” to me and hangeth up on me, you shall live forever as a pillar of salt in the center of town.” And in that place, all the townspeople will gather with great amazement, and the young ones will say, “There goest Little One, a sinner such as I”, and the mothers and fathers will say amongst themselves, “It is good and right that this has happened as a lesson to the children of our loins who might choose to disrespectfully end phone calls with their forefathers.”

Soon after this, Jesus spoke to his daughter, and said, “Though you sayest to me that you have finished all your homework from the day you were absent from school, I lookest into the heart and see the truth is not in you. And so, in the days in which schools break for Springtime, and the semester grades appeareth in the mailboxes, there shall be great rejoicing among the young and lighthearted of the land. But you, however, will rend your clothes and lie on your bed of sorrow, cut off from the friendship of your youth, because of the error of your homework ways. And when I asketh why you have received a ‘C’ in Health class, remember your past transgressions and refraineth from saying to me, “I do not know. The teacher hateth me.”

I think Jesus would have been an excellent parent of teens.

Really Random Thoughts...

As most of you know, I spend my day surrounded by seventh and eighth graders. Most days, we all get along just fine and I really like being around them. This week, however, my patience is almost gone. Maybe it's the warm front, but the kids are bouncing off the walls. So, my question for the day - other than prayer, how do you refill your patience jar when there's only one marble left in it? (Bonus question - how do you keep that last marble in the jar?)

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

Now on to unrelated news..LOL I read the other day that there are three kinds of friends: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for life. I've had all three. Probably because I am a rather talkative person, I have never had a problem making friends for a reason. I am usually the first in a group to break the ice and get to know people. Friends for a season are harder for me. I tend to grow really attached to people, and it is hard for me when those bonds are released. Finding a friend for life is the hardest of all, but, of course, also the most rewarding. I have been so blessed to find my soul sisters. I never thought we'd play such a large role in each other's lives. Thank God for filling our lives with surprises.

Adrian and I were talking a few days ago about some odds and end things... (As we do every day) and we came across a subject that we hadn’t discussed. It was in regards to politics, and that’s something that I try not to get into a deep discussion with others about. So I’ve decided to put a few thoughts here: I consider myself a moderate independent. Sometimes I agree with one side, sometimes the other. Sometimes I disagree with both. In the spirit of free speech, here are my beliefs.

I believe that the majority of people are good, hardworking citizens who just want a comfortable life for themselves and their families.

I believe in the old adage about fishing. If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he eats for life. I believe in creating jobs that pay a decent wage, rather than increasing government handouts.

I believe that education is the foundation of a strong society. I think that if we invested more resources in education (academic, vocational, community, & family) that we would eventually need to invest less in the penal and welfare systems.

I believe that the best defense is a strong offense - that we should have the strongest intelligence and military forces in the world. I believe that service members and veterans should be thanked on a daily basis. Thank you Adrian and all of the 30th HBCT NCNG… you are my hero’s.

I believe that we are destroying our world. Every day, more and more species become extinct and ecosystems changed. I believe that we continue to be poor stewards of the resources we've been blessed with. I believe that alternatives to fossil fuels, such as solar power, wind power, and vegetable oils, must be used.

I think we are returning to a Robber Baron state, if we ever really left one - that a handful of millionaires and billionaires determine the majority of what America reads, watches, listens to, and purchases. This scares me quite a bit. I also think that big lobbyists, like the gun, pharmaceutical, and tobacco lobbies have WAY too much power.

Finally, I believe in America. I think the ideas our country is based upon still hold true. I think we are a young nation with much promise, even with our growing pains.

Reasons I Call Him Mine

I love how intelligent he is
I love how he makes me laugh even when I can't seem to smile
I love how cute he looks when he is sleeping
I love his little boy smile
I love his sexy grin
I love his big brown eyes that I could stare into everyday
I love how he says that I’m his Queen
I love how he takes care of me
I love how he knows what I’m thinking
I love how we sometimes say the same things at the same time
I love his hugs
I love how he brushes his cheek up against mine
I love his the way he dances goofy
I love how passionate he is about everything
I love how romantic he is
I love that he can watch chick flicks
I love how protective he gets over me
I love his big heart
I love how talkative he is
I love his analytical mind
I love how outgoing he is
I love how sexy he looks in combat boots
I love his sense of style
I love his sense of humor
I love his singing voice
I love his cute accent
I love his butt
I love how he loves me
I love how he makes me feel beautiful
I love how he makes me feel special
I love how he needs me
I love his passionate kisses
I love that he opens the door for me
I love it when we argue then just smile and its all over
I love how he takes care of me
I love how he touches my hair
I love his massages
I love his huge hands
I love how fun he is
I love his mind and how stimulating he is
I love his creativity
I love how he loves Christ and longs to minister to others
I love our teamwork
I love when he finishes my sentences
I love how we can pray together and I know he always prays for me
I love how child-like he is
I love how silly he is
I love how much he turns me on
I love how he smells
I love his taste in music
I love how I never know what he will say when he gets on the phone
I love his compliments
I love how his says to me “I l love you THIS much”
I love how he ends letters with Muah
I love that he prays every night
I love how thankful he is for being my man
I love how special he is
I love how he would sacrifice everything to be with me
I love how I can tell him anything and everything
I love how he has a little bad boy in him
I love his passion for America
I love his intenseness
I love his love of nature
I love how he is my biggest fan
I love how encouraging he is
I love when texts me sweet random text messages
I love his charisma
I love his charm
I love when he write me love poems
I love how giving he is
I love how forgiving he is
I love how compassionate he is
I love the little angel in him
I love the little devil in him
I love how he makes me feel
I love his laugh
I love his complexity (he’s never boring)
I love the fact that he would do anything in the world for me
I love that he is my best friend
I love that he is my soul mate!

Being an Effective Mom is Hard...

Sometimes I get really stressed out. I LOVE being a mom - there is absolutely nothing else I would rather do with my life than be a mother - really. But it really is truly hard. I always knew it would be hard because that is what everyone said, but you never really quite understand until you actually do it. I love my children so much! And that is probably part of the reason that it’s so stressful, because everything is not always perfect and you want to try and make everything as perfect as possible - but it’s not that easy.

It is so crazy to me. But already at her age I can see how much influence friends have on her. It is scary. We live in a scary world - much scarier than it was even when we were growing up! I feel such a huge responsibility to protect them, but even more to teach them. And I usually feel very overwhelmed and inadequate. And then when you think you have a perfect teen and you find out that they are maybe not quite so perfect and get some extra challenges, like we I’ve had (whom I'm sure I'll talk more about at a different time), it is even that much harder!

Anyway, I guess I have just been feeling quite overwhelmed lately with motherhood. Even though I'm sure I'll feel this way ten times fold as they get older! I can definitely see how Heavenly Father uses this role and the experiences it comes with to mold us and help us become the people He knows that we can become and that we hope to become during this life.

For my Bethy Pooh...LOL

The Soon-To-Be Public School Teacher
In 21st Century USA!!

While being interviewed by the school administration,
the eager teaching prospect said:

"Let me see if I have this right: You want me to go
into that room with all those kids and fill their every
waking moment with love for learning.
And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their
ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe
them for signs of abuse and even censor their t-shirt
messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted
diseases, check their back packs for weapons of mass
destruction, and raise their self esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship,
sportsmanship, play fair, how to register to vote,
how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads for lice,
maintain a safe environment,
recognize signs of anti-social behavior,
offer advice,
write letters of recommendation for students employment
and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural
diversity of others, and, oh, make sure that I give the
girls in my class fifty percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own time after
school, evenings and weekends grading papers.
Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own
expense working toward advance certification and
a Master's degree. Then on my own time you want
me to attend committee and faculty meetings,PTA
meetings, and participate
in staff-development training.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life,and
such that my very presence will awe my students into
being obedient and respectful of authority.

And I am to pledge allegiance to family values and to
this current school administration. You want me to
incorporate technology into the learning experience,
monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student.
That includes deciding who might be potentially
dangerous and/or who might commit a crime in school.

I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory
State exams, even those who don't come to school regularly
or complete any of their assignments.

Plus, I am to make sure that all the students with
handicaps get an equal education regardless of the
extent of their mental or physical handicap.

I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter,
telephone, email, newsletter and report card.

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk,
a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile
AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for
food stamps??!!

You want me to do all this and yet you expect me
"NOT TO PRAY?"

Author Unknown To Me


You will never know how much you mean to me... I think so much of you and I can only Pray that when I grow up I'll be just like you.

LOL... An Military Girlfriend

Seriously…Military and Girlfriend are two of the oddest, scariest, words ever put together to describe me. Not really who I am or ever intended to be. It is hard on me… as everyone knows I am a very needy friend for things like self reassurance. (Always have been). While all I want to do is break down and cry, I feel like I have to be strong and send him positive messages. It’s a little draining. Just knowing that he is my partner, yet I never want to put too much on him. This is just not a great time… we have the rest of our lives to get to all of that. These next few months are his.
I know everyone thinks this will fail (and I hate all of you). A few of you are super supportive and in the mindset of “love will conquer all.” As corny as it is, it helps. I adore him and everyone asks me if I want it “to be forever.” I have no answer for that…all I know is I love him and I want to be with him. It’s enough for me. And it should be enough for the rest of you. So I’m not your standard ditzy fussy hen who is your norm for military SO (although I am pretty ditzy…lovely new bruise on my shin today from walking into…err never mind…).
So since a lot of you suck, I have decided to do some research (it’s what I do in my free-time, what did you expect?) into what to expect now that things are different between the two of us. I found a forum for military girlfriends and decided to join it to just see what they suggested and to get support that I wasn’t getting from a lot of friends. So far it’s interesting and they haven’t given any advice I want. I don’t want to jump the ship because I do have such strong feelings for him even though sometimes I doubt he feels the same way about me. Its silly…I know. (Mainly because I don’t exactly hide the fact that I write here…so I’m sure he’ll question me about that).
So to end this-as usual I am confused. This is the guy I pretty much prayed about. So I am stupidly in love, happy about it and miserable at the same time (only cause he is not here to cuddle and kiss to death). I am probably going to drive him crazy with my little random e-mail messages and all my friends crazy with my whining.

Frustrations of an Army Girlfriend...

You know... I love my man with all my heart and there is nothing I can't handle. But I must take a moment to vent. I am an Army girlfriend. Let me just tell you how hard it can be to handle a man that is away. It is soooo difficult. There is a strain on the relationship because for that time being its hard to actually have the "relationship." As a army girlfriend you are put in a hard position. Your man expects you to understand what he is going through and to be positive 24/7. They are always tired, low, and stressed. They look forward to hearing their woman's voice as much as they can because it gives them a sense of being at home. But the last thing they need is to here negative things come from there life. After all, they are constantly surrounded by negative during the day. You learn that they don't mean to take their stress and irritability out on you but they just do. The hardest part is taking it all in and then just smiling and shrugging it off. You have to learn that your relationship issues must be put on hold because there is never a good time to show any negative sides. If you are reading this and have just gotten into a relationship with someone in the military know that I am no expert. But I am learning. Its a difficult process but in time you start to understand a little more. The army comes first wether you like it or not. Thats just the way it is. But remember you have a choice. If you really love the man and want to spend your life with him then you will never give up. Just continue to love, nurture, pray, and be positive. Believe me, I'm preaching to myself. I definitly don't have the hang of this at all yet but I'm learning and I'm also learning that I am not the only one. There are a million other army girlfriends/ wives/ and mothers that have or are still learning how to deal with this. I can't wait until February... then finally our relationship can be a real relationship once again. Even though its hard... I wouldn't change a thing. I love him

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

WARD SENDS: Military Spouse Appreciation Day

By General William E. Ward, commander,

U.S. Africa Command Print STUTTGART, Germany, May 8, 2009 — The 8th of May is "Military Spouse Appreciation Day," a special day for all spouses here at U.S. Africa Command. Our spouses are very important members of the Team, whether residing in Stuttgart, Molesworth, Tampa, on the continent, or elsewhere. This is an opportune time to thank our spouses for all the support they provide that helps our Team accomplish the mission.

This day gives us a chance to reflect upon the situation our spouses face: frequent moves, family separations, and uncertainty in the face of current and potential global crises and thank them. Finding jobs, overcoming language and cultural barriers, and distance from family and friends add to the complexity of the situation. At times spouses are required to assume the role of both parents when their sponsors are called to duty, and they are expected to be strong in the face of the dangers many of their loved ones may confront.

Still, they persevere and thrive. Our spouses contribute greatly to our communities, leading and participating in social and cultural activities, volunteering as coaches, tutors, tour guides, and being members of various civic associations, to name just a few of their many roles. Their enthusiasm and joy reflects positively upon all of us and helps to improve the quality of life in military communities around the world.

So to all of our spouses, I thank you for all you do every day of the year. I am in awe of your accomplishments. You overcome obstacles and make a difference in our communities. I salute you as true patriots and I speak for all of us at United States Africa Command in saying that you have our sincere appreciation on this special day and every day.

Everyone hears of the Army Wife,
Her trials, sacrifices, and devoted life.
She is strong, she is brave, and she is loving indeed,
Standing by her man in his time of need.

But what of others in a similar situation,
Who have made being an army girlfriend their main occupations?
We suffer many of the same trials and many of the same fears
Without the security of future years.

Will there be peace or will there be war?
I try to be hopeful but it’s hard to ignore.
The world seems to be falling apart
When to a soldier you have given your heart.

My love runs too deep to escape from it now.
I hope to be together somewhere, somehow,
When his duty is over and our life can begin.
I wonder if it will happen but don’t question when.

The many heartbreaks and times that I weep
When he makes promises the Army can't keep.
But we've have learned so much together and come so far.
Others warn me not to fall in love but I'm already there.

His job is ever-changing and takes him far away.
I think of him always and pray every day–
For his safety, his courage, and his love for you
That he may remain steadfast, loyal, and ever true.

Nothing is sure and nothing is set in stone…
Except that he will leave again and you will be alone,
Holding tightly to your dreams of a future together
When you will at last be able to say the word “forever.”

Tears have become anything but a stranger.
They fall freely in sadness, loneliness, and anger.
But he will never know because you will never tell.
You’ve learned to hide your misery only too well.

Only eight months... That doesn’t sound like so long.
The letters and phone calls keep your love going strong,
Even when they are few and far between,
In them, his love for me can clearly be seen.

So I'll keep my chin up and a smile on my face.
He is protecting our freedom and keeping us safe.
His heart is strong and his love is true
And I wont ever forget that he is missing me too.

Attitude....

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, then circumstances, than failures,than successes, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 25% what happens to me and 75% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

Remember Me For Who I Am...

This is the most inspirational message I have ever read on someone’s MySpace page! I just wanted to share this with everyone and really think about it! Think about how you carry yourself everyday; remember you’re not the only one in this small little world!!! Don’t always just think about yourself; Think about others and how they feel and what they are going through. Don’t just shrug off what someone says to you if they REALLY MEAN IT, obviously it’s important to them and they aren’t just joking around! People live in different ways and hold onto different values. Be respectful when someone says they are hurt and be kind everyday to one another. I’m so sick of going out with my friends and meeting new people who could care less about anyone’s feelings but their own. So really take a good look at this message below its wonderful. And its sort of what I follow, I don’t just live for myself and no one else, and no one is going to change my mind about the way I feel about something and what I want in my life.. Especially when it comes to relationships!! I Love You Adrian Sorry I just had to throw that in there! Love ya'll

~~Micha’el~~

I am strong because I believe in myself. I know who I am and what I can do. It doesn't matter what I look like, where I live, or who my friends are. What matters is the confidence that I carry within. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught. You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all the people all of the time. Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone! Never take someone for granted, hold every person close to your heart, because you might wake up one day, and realize that you have lost a diamond, while you were too busy collecting stones! We call a person who has lost his father, an orphan, a man who has lost his wife, a widower. But that man who has known the immense pain of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all. Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough! Friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship - Never! Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that...you can't shake hands with a clenched fist! Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Life is but a brief moment. People desire so many things and waste their days in vain. Some yearn for gold, others for power, yet others for glory and a higher status. But when death's moment nears and they look back at their lives they've lived, they realize they've been happy only during those moments when they've loved. You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.nIt is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience - If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

The longer I live the more I believe you do have to give if you want to receive. There's a time to listen, a time to talk and you might have to crawl even after you walk! I had sure things blow up in my face, seen the long shot win the race, been knocked down by the slamming door, picked myself up and came back for more! It's not how many times you get knocked down, but its how many times you get back up. Never give in, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force, never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names. You show me a good loser, you show me nothing but a loser! A man isn't finished when he is beaten, he is finished when he quits!

The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything! In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing! Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Regrets are inevitable, but grudges are a choice! Nothing in life is to be feared, It is to be understood. All men are timid on entering any fight. Whether it is the first or the last fight, all of us are timid. Cowards are those who let their timidity get the better of their manhood. You gain strength and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things you cannot do! Impossible is not a fact, its merely an opinion.

God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars. Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything. I’ve learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be. The windows of my soul are made of one-way glass, so don't bother looking into my eyes...if there's something you want to know just ask! I fear no one, but respect everyone!

IT IS BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHAT YOU ARE THAN TO BE LOVED FOR WHAT YOU ARE NOT

Smile, He Loves me...

Another morning and here I sit at working thinking about all that Adrian and i talked about last night. We got to talk for 2 hours.. LOL.. you don't know how excited I was for that.. and how much I needed it.

Sometimes in life we think too much into things. I need to quit doing that. I've always been one to worry about the small things...but i need to get over that.

I wont go into detail, but I will say that I can't allow my insecurities to come between Adrian and myself. Today is a new day, and I look forward to what tomorrow holds.

I'll blog some more later,

Stay Blessed,

Day 22

This has been a very long weekend.

It started off as usual, on Friday’s I work until about 6 p.m. When I got off of work, I did the usual running around with the kids and we went to dinner. (It makes a huge difference in your eating habits when you know that you’re not the only one watching your weight, others are watching also.) But I then did a few errands and came home to lay around until it was time for me to call Adrian… ahh, what a conversation we had. Sometimes I wonder why I bring certain conversation topics up… I have to learn to prepare myself for anything that might come with certain topics... LOL
So we had the normally GREAT conversation, and then said our goodbyes. Have you ever had to say good-bye to someone that you REALLY didn’t want to? I hated it. Something was just a little different about this one. Ill pray on it…

Saturday morning I had the greatest surprise.. Adrian called me to give me my wake up… (Can you say Cheshire smile..LOL) he has a way to bring a silly smile even at 5 in the a.m., our morning conversations are usually a lot calmer…so it’s always good to hear from him in the morning… LOL
Saturday afternoon I spent at Jalen’s ball-game. LOL... I still don’t know why a parent would put herself/himself through this year after year. I arrived about 2pm. The game started approximately an hour later they sang the National Anthem. So here we are, first game of the season and I’m already bored. LOL. It’s just not the same. When Jalen played in the minor leagues the kids rallied and the adults actually got into it. Now the parents sit in their cars the whole time and the kids are grumbling about how much longer.. (mind you they are on the field playing as they say this..)
About 10 minutes after 6 we finally were able to pull out of the ball park. We won the game, 12-1. Good job fella’s. Hopefully the rest of the season goes as well.

I decided to stop by my friend’s house to visit for a while, knowing before I got there that she and I would argue about something... LOL. It wouldn’t be our friendship if we didn’t. So on this already long day we decided to cook a few things on the grille. She actually had her brother in law cook and the teased me about being an anorexic or bulimic. LOL. Now if you know me at all, you’ll know that I am far from either. But let the joke begin. No biggie. As the evening progressed, I realized just how close it was for me to call Adrian. So I helped them clean up and told them of my plans. Jalen decided to stay with her boys so that he wouldn’t have to go with me on Sunday to Sign Corp.

I got home and I had missed 13 calls... LOL... all from the same young man looking for my son that wasn’t home. Geez, I never get phone calls. I got in the shower and called my favorite guy. We didn’t talk long because in my opinion, the conversation just didn’t flow. I know that he has a lot on his mind, so I try not to bring the small things up. But I wish that he would talk to me about things that are on his mind. It seems that we only discuss things that are relevant to me. He did however bring up the fact that he changed his MySpace page around… I was flattered… that’s another subject. Well we knew that Sunday would be very busy for me, so I hated saying those dreaded words… but all good things come to an end. I intentionally went straight to bed so that I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep. (We all know that I’m way to emotional)

Well finally Sunday rolls around and I’m up and moving at 5 a.m. (Am I crazy) and driving to Indianapolis at 6 am.. (Eyes still barely open...LOL) It was already a long weekend and I still had another 15 hours to go. I have a really good friend that helps bring a smile when she see’s that I’m not having a GREAT day. Actually I showed up at Sign Corp in tears.. it just wasn’t a great one.. I don’t know why… I just know that I wasn’t feeling it. I actually even told her that I didn’t want to go. She wasn’t going for it, and I appreciate that. I needed it. Sign Corp is important to me... And I would have regretted going later. We arrived in good timing, and we performed terrifically. (Not my opinion, others from the Church said so..LOL) I was impressed with the friendliness of the church members. If I lived in that area, I could see myself attending more often. So we packed everything back up and headed to a friends home for a picnic of sorts to pass some of the time away between performances. Once everyone ate, and the kids got dirty, we loaded everyone back into their respective vehicles and headed back to Logansport. Geez, we still had another 4 hours to go before I would be headed home. The Logansport performance went well… and the kids actually listened to me for a change. I can see Aubrey warming up to me a lot more.. (God is soo good). She and I spoke the whole time…I even think that she might like me... LOL
We finally got to head home about 7:45 p.m. I still had to go pick the kids up and get them settled for school today.
To end the evening, I called Adrian just to tell him that my day went really well, but as usual I woke him up. He doesn’t seem to enjoy it as much as I do. So I’ll try to figure out a different time to call him. Our conversation was very short… actually it was only 5 minutes in length. He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk, and instead of hold him on the phone I wished him a good morning, and told him to stay safe. I let him go so that he could get his day started and I could get some rest. Never the less, I didn’t go to sleep right away, actually I didn’t go to sleep until about 2:45. (Well that’s that last time I looked at the clock). There is just something going on and I cant quite figure it out…)
So here we are today, and the students are just being awful. I just keep telling myself that there are only 18 days left until school is out.. So I can handle it. We will see…

Stay Blessed….

His calls...

I am a Blessed woman. I got the opportunity to talk with Adrian again yesterday after work. I’m sure to most; you think that this is what is supposed to happen. However, daily I read about another woman who is hurting because she hasn’t gotten to speak with her loved one in more than a week or two. Yet, I have spoken every day with my Guy... He is so caring, and daily wants to know how my day to day activities are going. He doesn’t let a day go by without expressing his care and concern for me. He remembers to ask about the gym, my "friends", family, and work. Rarely does he tell me how bad the situations are there. (Even though that's what I want to hear) He is such a selfless person. I am definitely a blessed woman.

I've learned to truly appreciate him, admire him and accept him. Appreciation and admiration sound the same at first thought, but they are very different. I appreciate Adrian for what he does for me, but I admire him for what he is. He has proved to be a man of his word. And thus far showing me in so many ways that he is a true provider.'

For so long, I've taken advantage of the simple things. These next 8 months should prove to show me so many things... about me, my family, Adrian, and life in general.

Do teens come with a "return to sender" label...

Did you ever notice the only difference between work and play is the amount of enjoyment you get from each of them? What makes us enjoy one task and moan regretfully at another one which is similar?


If I asked Jalen to take the trash out he would probably consider that undesirable work, but if he were at a friends house and noticed the trash needed emptying, he would jump at the mere mention of it. When Cheyanne was first able to babysit on here own she volunteered for each and every person. After the "new" had worn off that was no longer the case.

After giving this some thought, I've come up with the following conclusion: there's not much difference between work and play, it's all in the attitude. What else would make a person in today's world look down on talking calmly with teens? Let the same woman speak the same conversation with a student and it's nothing. I just don't get it. One of the students could come along and anger me to my wits end... in an hour or so, I've gotten over it and onto another situation. However, my own children...hmmm... There are things that take me ages to get over. Literally ages. (As in Chey was grounded for a year, and I don't remember why). Sad, I know. I need to learn to talk with them as calm as I do my students. Hmmm...

To go to work with my children is really a blessing and a privilege I shouldn't take lightly. It is an honor that oftentimes I take for granted. I shouldn't forget that there are mother's that are also single and would give anything to spend the amount of time that I get with my children..

My attitude needs to be checked occasionally. Do I grumble because I have more than my fair share to do? Do I complain when ends don't meet and I have to figure out ways to be even more thrifty than I already am? I need to make my home as relaxed as I do at school.. my work and play. What I'll do is make it a game that I'll set out to enjoy and win. uH... I THINK THAT I'LL TRY ANYWAY...lol

An insane moment...

Good morning,


I just wanted to take the time to babble. I got to speak to Adrian again last night.. (That is an awesome feeling, knowing that he only seems to be a phone call away...) I was so excited to get to talk to him. Nothing really to talk about other than to hear his voice, and tell him about my day. But something was different... I didn’t get the same amount of energy from him as I usually do. I almost felt like I was bothering him, or as if he other things on his mind. Hopefully this was all part of my imagination. I teared up as we were getting off the phone, I don’t know why.. Someone just pray that God gives me the strength that I need to be there for Adrian. I know that he has so much going on right now and my insecurities are not helping him. So, this is my proposal... that no matter what goes on, if it's not emergent, I will not vent to him. I have others that I can talk to about my day to day activities, and frustrations. (Right?)

Well, that leads me to another topic... friends. Hmmm, who will I call? My new-found friendship is going to be cut short in a month because she is leaving Indiana. So it's like she gets me all excited about going to the gym and how I can look and feel better about myself.. and then no sooner that I join, buy cute little outfits, and brag about going... this silly girl reminds me that she's leaving in a month.. UGH.. (Inside scoop, I should have known... all people leave at some point or another...) Who will I talk to... who will continue to push me into going to the gym? (Even when I’m whining about it) Who will be excited for me when I hear from Adrian? Who can I make fat jokes to when I’m really depressed about everything? I have only one person, and she is leaving me for selfish reasons… LOL... Okay, I’m being a bit selfish to ask her to stay, but without even realizing it she has become a Pearl in my life. Okay enough with all the drama, she is definitely appreciated and will be missed. (As if I wont email her on a regular, or blow countless cell phone minutes keeping in touch...LOL)
So, where do people my age "find" friends? LOL. Maybe I should go to the grocery store and look on the bulletin boards, or get online and post a "wanted" add. maybe Ill start slking friendly looking people until they ask me "Can I help you with something".. LOL.. I mean really, how do adults make friends when they have been in the same city your whole life? Is that something that just comes naturally, or do we search for it. Maybe I’ll just take the next nine months and concentrate solely on my children, my guy and my weight….
Uhm, maybe not... LOL... We will see what happens…

Stay Blessed…

Thank You Adrian...

I don’t know where to start this post. So I guess I’ll start with thank you. Thank you for being the man that you are. Thank you for being man and father beyond compare. Thank you for filling my heart with a love of such fierceness I can barely contain it. Thank you for taking such pure and unalloyed joy in our lives together. Thank you for extending the same respect you command from others. Thank you for having the integrity and strength to do the job that you do. Thank you for your unshakable work ethic. Thank you for providing the comfort, stability, and security we’re so fortunate to enjoy. Thank you for your unwavering dedication to doing what’s right no matter the consequence. Thank you for not complaining each time the military plucks you up and sends you away at a moment’s notice. Thank you for being strong enough to leave your family and I behind while you fight a thankless war in a country that doesn’t want you. Thank you for reminding me every day that freedom isn’t free. Thank you for paying the price of that freedom in hard work, sweat, and tears. Thank you for enduring each missed holiday, birthday, and anniversary without a trace of bitterness. Thank you for witnessing my tears and calmly hearing out my frustrations when it all seems like too much. Thank you for each call home despite overwhelming tiredness of body and weariness of soul. Thank you for all of this and so much more that I don’t have the words to express. I may not be able to tender the thanks of a grateful nation, but I can and do offer the thanks of a grateful girlfriend. Thank you for being my soul mate, best friend, and other half. I love you and miss you with every breath I take. I’m proud of you. Come home to me safely, my love.

Dealing with the days...

16 days? Why does it seem like it has been so much longer than that? It’s hard to believe that only 16 days have passed since I’ve seen Adrian…He left Indianapolis on April 12th, but actually left the U.S. on April 18th. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t wished that we could go back to the 9th. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. You don’t really know what you have until it’s gone.

There is so much going through my head… He truly spoils me. I worry about so much, and before I can really talk to him about it, he calms my fears in a way that only he can.
But I won’t go into that right now… mainly because I could speak on that for hours…

So far Adrian and I have gotten to speak daily, and sometimes twice a day. I worry about the cost, and he tells me not to. … (I hope that we don’t regret it later) But for now, I’m floating on Cloud 9. I sent him a few cards and a book last Thursday (4/23) and he hasn’t received it to date, but Ill be patient. I’m sending another package off today, mainly just some goodies and a few things that I thought he might enjoy.. We will see. It just makes me feel like I can actually do something for him, maybe it’s just my way of taking care of him.

I wrote earlier about how he and I were going to attempt to work on “the Love Dare” together, well as I started the book, it almost seems silly for both of us to work on it at the same time. Almost as if we would be expecting and/or assuming one another’s moves. Maybe we will try something else. I've looked at many sites online hoping to find something interesting... Nothing has jumped out as of yet... I have another blog that I've been working on, but its a bit personal so I’m not sure when Ill actually post it. Just pray that I find the courage to follow all that I proposed…

Missing Adrian

I'm missing Adrian more today than I could have ever imagined. When I think about his smile and the way his hand feels in mine, I tear up, even after this time. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like him. Since the moment we first saw each other, he has put me on a pedestal. And for a long time now, I fought being up there because I thought, surely, things would change. Well, so far they haven't. I am still his number one everything and he makes me feel how I imagine a newborn baby feels wrapped up in a blanket: secure, warm, loved, protected, adored, in the hands of God, at complete peace with the world. And there is no better feeling.So today I just want to thank him for the best months of my life. I can't wait for 100 more years.

Day 5

So here it is another day... the week has gone by fairly quick. Suprising huh. I was excited to hear Adrian's voice as much as I did this week... he is definitly sticking to his word.
Im still going to the Gym, and I have actually enjoyed it. But it definitly helps to have someone in your corner supporting you... Thanks
I have alot of time to think about my future and what it is that God intends to do with it. I hope that this is all in HIS will, just continue to pray for us please.

Stay Blessed,

Day 2..

Yesterday was like any other...

I had the opportunity to spend some "real" quality time with the kids, which is always a job in itself. LOL. I wanted to take then to dinner just to see how everyone's day was and of course they all seemed to pick the Buffett... (Not a favorite of mine, and definitely not when I’m on a diet). It actually felt pretty good to eat just a salad and not feel hungry. Hmm, maybe I really can do this.
When I left dinner I went straight to the Gym, I walked on the treadmill for about an hour and then took a Zumba class that was horrible... (Okay, I’m whining) But it does let me know that I should never work on the treadmill and then take a class. There were 60 year young women in there moving quicker than me. (That’s a problem)
When I got home Adrian called for about 20 minutes... especially in a very busy day, it's always soothing to hear his voice and how positive he is about this whole situation.
I have a friend that is so inspiring to us. She may or may not know who she is, but she is definitely someone that the both of us look up to from afar. In speaking to her, I decided to get the movie "Fireproof", I'll try to make time to actually watch it this week. Adrian and I also are going to do the Love Dare together. Although we are not married, (and not even close to truly talking about it) we thought it would be interesting.
SO, once he gets to Iraq in a few weeks Ill send him a copy and we will go one day at a time.

There is so much that I want to say, however I needed to get started with my day 20 minutes ago, so I'll end for now and resume later...

Stay Blessed.....

The first day of the rest of my life....

So here I am, doing what used to come naturally. Writing is something that takes away the pain, the sorrow, and the guilt from daily activities in life. However this is a new type of writing that hurts just as deep.
See, I’ve come to know once again the pain that occurs when you’ve fallen for someone in the US Military. He was deployed Saturday evening. Actually, we said our good-byes last Tuesday thinking that would be it … but as we all know, the military changes orders as they see fit. Adrian says that the military's slogan should be "hurry up and wait..." I've come to see the truth in that. Ill try to keep this updated, as Adrian is away. When he has time, he will note some things also.
The thing is, I’ve done this before and it didn’t turn out so well. So, some may ask what could ever make me do it again… to be honest, had it not of been for the man that is involved, I would have ran the other direction at the first mention of “military”.
I received my first call from Kuwait last night about 7:00pm, making it 3:00am his time, we were able to talk for about 15 minutes when he warned me that our phone call would only be 20 minutes… I was in shock. I babbled for 12 of the 15 minutes. Time goes by so quickly when you’re used to speaking for hours on the phone. But all was well; I was content hearing his voice knowing that he made it safe.
The phone rang at 6:58am, I was totally excited, Adrian called to let me know how the conditions were and that he finally got some sleep. (His total flight was about 20 hours). He assured me that we would still get to talk on a regular even though it wouldn’t be our regular 2 hours each night. At this point, Ill take what I can get…

Just some things that I've Learned...

This isnt something that I wrote, but I believe that we have all learned many of these....

Just some things that I’ve learned….

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to….

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you care about most in life are sometimes taken from you too soon
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I'm the Military Girlfriend...

I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card; I am not a "dependent" or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I am trying to understand and accept this. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him will fuel him in the worst of times. There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able to call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions...smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" will speak more than volumes and will give me the strength to keep going. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so bad, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day. The events of the next 10 months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war I will not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war. News of every casualty will cause me physical pain and deep sadness. When you say your prayers for the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, please don't forget about me. I am just a military girlfriend.